I have said for years that 99% of problems could be avoided or solved quickly with better communication. That very scientific assessment is reinforced to me when I see the breakdown of society in being able to disagree civilly.
I am always on the lookout for resources that can teach, encourage, or help create better communication skills. And please don’t read that and think that I’m putting myself on some kind of communication-skills-high-horse. I happen to come from a long line of abrasive women. (I’m pretty sure it was women like us that caused the early church to forbid women from speaking in church.) Speaking respectfully and kindly is something that I have worked on, with many failures, over the years. My gracious husband has been my biggest help in this endeavor.
More Effective Communication
When I came across this article on “4 Communication Tips to Improve Every Relationship,” I was just taken by it. I shared it in my bi-weekly Food for Thought post, but wanted to shine a light on it again for you.
She breaks it down into an easy to remember format by giving us 4 “T’s” to remember. Timing, Tone, Technique and Truth. And here’s what a breakdown might look like:
- Being strong in sharing the truth with someone will be ineffective if you approach them with a barrage of negatives (technique).
- You can use the kindest tone, but if you are not addressing the real issues (truth) nothing will be accomplished.
- Maybe you use a good technique of sharing, but demean with your tone…no results.
The fact is…the only people who don’t struggle with one of these areas of communication are those who struggle with two or more areas!
I know for me, I will try to use the technique of sandwiching a negative between two positives, thinking that I am practicing good communication. My husband will take a breath and inform me that the positives are kind of lost when someone feels attacked by a condescending tone, or a giant list of (what feels like an attack of) negatives in the middle.
What is your communication “T” struggle?
Aside from practicing these skills… I encourage you to give someone permission to call you on your “T’s.” That’s where real growth happens.
And I just can’t encourage you enough to go check out the article. She offers a great printable that gives you some questions to ask yourself. They can guide you into communication that is not only more pleasant, but is more likely to yield the results you want.
If only we could all master this….in the words of the great Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World it Would Be.” 🙂
This post is my “Letter C” post for my Crazy4Blogging Group … watch for letters, “R-A-Z-and Y” over the next several weeks! (Yeah, Z…I already did a zombies post, so that’s out. Be sure to check back to see what I come up with!)