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Your wife knows you love her.
She also knows that finding ways to show that to her is not always easy for you. But the thing about marriage is that it’s really easy to drift apart if you’re not consciously working to draw together.
So to help the fellas out, I put the word out to my fantastic readers and compiled a list of 100 ways that you can make sure that your lady knows that she’s your one and only. And even if you’re already doing a GREAT job of showing your love, more ideas are always helpful!
100 Ways to Show Your Love
Words
1- Say “I love you”
2- Tell her she’s beautiful
3- Compliment what she’s wearing
4- Praise her in front of people, including your kids
5- Don’t go to bed without saying ‘goodnight’
6- Always say ‘goodbye’ before you leave (a kiss would be great too!)
7- When she asks how your day was, say more than, “Fine”
8- Always let her know if you’ll be late
9- Create a wordless, secret way to say “I love you” to each other
Never went to bed without saying I love you never left for work without a kiss and hug topping it off with a squeeze of my hands which was our silent way of saying I Love You. –Jennie
10- Thank her (for specific things, not just ‘thanks for all you do’)
11- Laugh with her
12- Don’t put her down or demean her (especially in front of others)
13- Write her a letter
14- Text her during the day to stay in touch
15- Ask her questions…about things she’s interested in, her job, the kids, her past
16- Leave sticky notes on the mirror, steering wheel, in the refrigerator (you get the idea) telling her why you love her or that you’re thinking of her
17- Ask her what words she needs to hear from you
I love words. He hates words. I get that. I’ve asked him for uplifting and encouraging words. He says he doesn’t have them. So sometimes I’ll give him the words I’d love to hear in a particular moment. He thinks it’s not going to mean anything because I’m reminding him that I want to hear those words. Oh, but it does!…Words of encouragement, words of love, words of appreciation, even words that start interesting discussions where we disagree. I love words. –Wanda
18- Say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
19- Always defend her and stand up for her
He stands up for me and supports me! –Donna
Time
20- Go for a walk
21- Take her out for lunch or dinner out at a restaurant you know she enjoys
22- Run errands together
Planning time together. Sometimes it is just to take a ride, or run an errand together. Knowing that he would like me with him, just the two of us, speaks volumes. –Susan C.
23- Do a seasonal activity (apple orchard, corn maze, ice skating, sledding, build a snowman, gardens, etc.)
24- Go to a museum
25- Visit a local park
26- Put your arms around her when she needs comfort
27- Listen. Put down the phone and focus on her
Focus. Rather than letting what’s going on around him draw his attention, he pays attention to me. That means the phone, especially, doesn’t get his focus. –Amy
28- Make eye contact when you’re talking
29- Let her pick the movie (no complaining)
30- Wander in some antique shops
31- Make sure she has time to pursue her hobbies
My husband knows and treasures what is important to me: my love for God & the Church; my love for music..my love for quilting; for flowers & gardening. These all became his goals to make these “happen” for me! –Jane
32- Suggest a weekend away for just the two of you
33- Take a ballroom dancing class together
34- Set aside time to talk about the kids (what is going on now, the future, etc.)
35- Vacation without the kids (gasp!)
36- Play a game together
Sometimes he plays word games or cards with me. He knows what I value is time with him and knowing each other – truly knowing each other – and those are the ways he says he loves me without any words. –Margaret-Ann
37- Cook with her
38- Go to a coffee shop for coffee, tea, hot cocoa and visiting
39- Run her a bubble bath
40- After dinner, sit at the table and visit with her instead of getting up right away
41- When you’re in a store she enjoys, give her the time to wander a bit
42- Engage with your kids. Play with them, read books, talk
43- Go for a bike ride
Gifts
44- What specialty product would she love (coffee, tea, chocolate, etc.)? It doesn’t have to be expensive
45- If she’s a tea drinker, check out This Tea is for Ladies. Organic raspberry leaf and peppermint soothe and promote lady health.
46- Get her a gift card for something she enjoys. A coffee shop, craft store, boutique
47- Pick up something useful that she needs but hasn’t asked for
48- This Herbal Salve is a mom favorite. It is useful and smells pretty too.
49- A book
50- A copy of her favorite movie
51- Treat her to a manicure or pedicure
52- Acknowledge holidays (birthdays, anniversaries, Mother’s Day) in a way that honors her
53- Jewelry (Note: I’m not talking diamonds here. A pretty necklace or bracelet that is ‘her’ style will mean just as much…or more)
54- But if you’ve got the $$, diamonds aren’t bad either 🙂
55- Schedule a spa day for her
56- Buy her some fuzzy slippers
57- Bring her flowers…not just red roses, pick out something unique
I always got yellow roses on our anniversary adding a rose each year to signify our friendship and years together. –Jennie
58- A mug designed to her interests (Disney, a Bible verse, a quote, book or movie series, etc.)
59- Tickets to a show
Serve
60- Clean. Anything.
61- Get up with the kids on the weekend and let her sleep in
62- Cook dinner
63- Pick up dinner on the way home from work (let her know in advance)
64- Make the bed
65- Help clean up after dinner
66- Be aware of those little things she’s always on you for (clothes in the hamper, dishes in the dishwasher, etc.)
67- Keep her vehicle’s tank full of gas
68- Clean her car, inside and out
69- When you have spare time for a project, ask her what she’d like you to work on
70- Get to the car door first and open it for her
71- When you have dinner guests, clear the dishes so she can sit and visit
72- Tackle her honey-do list without being asked
For me it is doing the honey do list. Fixing things without being asked is a super duper awesome thing for me…Cleaning up after himself would also be on the high priority of appreciation — Shirlene
73- Put the toilet seat down
74- Help her on with her coat
75- Notice when she’s getting overwhelmed with the kids and step in.
When our kids were little, he knew I would get “cabin fever,” and would help pack everyone in our minivan to just take a ride together. I knew it would have been easy to just go somewhere alone, but he cared about me and my needs. –Susan C.
76- Carry the bags when you’re out shopping
77- Hold the door for her
78- Bring in the grocery bags when she comes home from grocery shopping
Romance
79- Dance with her in the kitchen.
80- Hold her hand…when you walk, in the car, watching TV, in public
81- Plan a surprise date.
My love language includes hugs and his are enveloping. He COULD be more romantic and remember special days and arrange date nights. –Donna
82- Give her a shoulder massage
83- Kiss her hand
84- Rub her feet
85- Kiss her—in front of the kids
He touches the middle of my back with his fingertips and whispers “I love you”. We fall asleep holding hands. He holds my hand in the car. –Shannon
Be the spiritual leader
86- Lead a family Bible study/devotion time
87- Install Covenant Eyes on all of your devices. Give her peace of mind that your family is protected and accountable for online content
88- Read a marriage book together (A couple of good ones to check out are Love & Respect, and From This Day Forward)
89- Pray with your family
90- Ask her how you can pray for her
91- Then do it…Pray for her. A guide can be helpful. Check out The Power of the Praying Husband Book of Prayers
92- Read your Bible every day, and talk with her about what you’re reading
93- Make church attendance a priority
94- Be conscious in teaching your sons and daughters how to be Godly young people.
He LOVES the LORD!…He taught our grandsons how to treat a woman. –Lonnie
95- Have difficult conversations with your kids (about modesty, sex, social issues, etc.)
96- Correct her when she’s wrong (gently)
97- Be the first to apologize
98- Make intentional decisions regarding your viewing habits. Keep them above reproach
99- Always talk with her before making big decisions
AND
100- Most importantly — KNOW her. If you don’t know which of the things on this list would please her and which would repel her…ask!
What did I miss??
Ladies- If you were making a ‘hint’ list for your husband what would be on it?
Guys- what ways to show your love does your wife like?
Even more than this lovely list, I love your category headings, We all give and receive love uniquely, and some actions will resonate and speak love more loudly than others for different people. This is a great way to sound the depths of our beloved’s love language!
Good insight, Michele. How often do we try to show love to our spouse in a way that we would like, instead of really understanding what fills their bucket?
Wow, these would be really nice…
It’s really interesting how we all have different ways that we feel loved. I tried to represent lots of different areas. Glad you found some that would be meaningful to you.
GREAT LIST! This is a great start for so many of us to work into all our lives. We are all different (praise God) so if one thing works that is wonderful if it doesn’t then there are so many more ideas to choose from 🙂
Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your work and pray it will bless some along the way.
Blessings
Thanks, Shirlene! Spot on advice, that not all of these will ‘click’ with everyone. And I pray, too, that it will encourage and bless marriages and couples.
Excellent, excellent advice. The one that stands out mostly to me though is to consult with your wife before you make a big decision. This should never be disregarded!
Totally agree!
Wow! Impressive list. So many ideas.