What the parental reviews missed in Spiderman: Homecoming

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I don’t consider myself a prude. Not even close.  But I do feel like Jeremiah when he wrote that the people –who God was about to punish, by the way– had ‘forgotten how to blush’.

It is really not my intent to become a movie reviewer here.  And after writing about my emotional reaction to Wonder Woman recently, I didn’t plan on writing about any other movies anytime soon.  Then I went to see Spiderman: Homecoming on Friday.

I live with boys, so superhero movies are kind of a given around here.  As with any movie we see, we do our homework to make sure we’re not walking in blind when it comes to content.  (My two favorite sites to check are Kids in Mind and Internet Movie Database).  

Spiderman is rated PG-13, and includes the expected few instances of inappropriate comments and scattered mild language.  Not a big deal considering the ages of our kids.

What I did not expect in Spiderman was a comment that still has my head reeling today.

Let me say first–I enjoyed the movie overall.  Solid plot, entertaining, well-done.  If you decide to see it, I think you’ll enjoy it too.  

But as with anything you watch, be prepared to discuss the content with your kids.  When we do this, we are apprenticing them into adulthood, helping them form a Biblical worldview.  Don’t miss these opportunities!

So what was the comment?  Well, it was quick.  Which is why I think reviewers missed it.  

My 16 year old didn’t hear it.   And because of that, even though I was sure of what I’d heard, I searched online to find a reference to it…just to be certain.  I found a few sites that made reference to it (so I really didn’t make it up).  One parental review site that I did find this scene on was Plugged In.  They’ve not been my favorite in the past because they don’t seem to be as thorough, but I may have to give them another try!

A game that you might wish you didn’t know existed

Let me set it up a bit for you.  Have you heard of a game called ‘F-M-K’?  You identify, from a group of people, which person you would have sex with (F), which one you would marry (M) and which one you would kill (K).  

Whatever you might think of this game, the idea of children playing it should disturb you.

In Spiderman, there’s a scene where 14 and 15 year old kids are in gym class.  A group of girls is sitting on the bleachers, apparently playing this game.  

One girl says, “I would ‘eff’ Thor…” and then goes on to describe who she would marry and kill from the Avengers.  The conversation turns to Spiderman and that’s where your attention is supposed to go as well.

I, however, was stunned.  I would ‘eff’ Thor?!

How many people read that line and gave it the green light before it appeared?  How many people hear it and think it’s no big deal? …  Maybe it isn’t a big deal.  Kids talk about sex, after all…right?

A 14 year old girl saying that she’d like to have sex with a grown man.  Nope.  Definitely disturbing.

How long will we continue to sexualize young girls before we realize that it is not ’empowering’?

We’re creating a culture that tells young girls that they can and should dress as provocatively, talk as explicitly, and behave as flirtatiously as they can.  And in return for this, they should expect men to respond with attention when they want it and stop at their command.

As strongly as I can say it…hear this:  sexual assault is always wrong.  Rape is always wrong.  A man is always responsible when he forces sex upon a woman who says no.  Always.

But can I tell you a story?

When my boys were young, my youngest would pick and prod at his older brother until he got a reaction. One of those times, big brother punched him and gave him a bloody nose.  

In disciplining them, we told my eldest that he was wrong for punching his brother.  We told him that he is responsible for his actions no matter what someone else does to provoke him.

Then we turned to little brother and said that if he pestered people constantly, he should expect them to react eventually.  We told him that he is responsible for the consequences of his actions.  “You can choose to keep picking, prodding, and poking with your words…but then you should expect to get punched in the nose.”

We are each responsible for our own actions and the consequences of our actions.

Responsible for writing a script, for example, that has a young girl saying she’d like to have sex with an adult man.  Person after person responsible for reading the line and saying,  ‘Yup, that’s totally appropriate.’  

Maybe I am a prude after all.

Does this line disturb you, or is it just me?

Spiderman tends to be one of the superheroes that is especially attractive to little kids.  If you are planning to take your kids to see Spiderman: Homecoming, please be sure to check one of the parental review sites I mentioned above.  There is other content that is much more obvious than the one thing I addressed here.  One that happens to be a personal pet peeve of mine: a comment is made about a teen boy looking at pornography (perpetrating the assumption that of course teen boys all look at porn all the time).  For older kids, don’t miss the chance to talk with them about worldview.

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Did you know that 70% of teenagers admit that they have accidentally stumbled across porn online?  Click here to read how we protect our family from online pornography:

And if you, or someone you love struggles with an addiction to pornography, check out these resources:

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