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Unloving Christians. How often do you hear that? It’s bad enough that Christians are portrayed this way, do we really have to perpetuate the myth ourselves?
I’m minding my own business last week, when an article comes across my desk instructing me (and all evangelical Christians) how to show love to all of these people we supposedly hate. The conclusion? Stop being Christians and agree with everything the world says…then they’ll know you really love them. (my paraphrase)
The media has been telling us for years that Christians are unfeeling and unloving. But the evidence doesn’t show that. It’s a deception and it is not true.
What the Numbers Say About Unloving Christians
In fact, looking from a purely statistical angle, actively church-going Christians out give and out volunteer those who don’t attend church by far. By far.
Some studies have been criticized because they included giving to a church as charitable giving. (Considering that most churches do charitable outreach, there’s clearly nothing wrong with that classification.) However, one study looked beyond that and summarized their findings with this statement,
In short, religious actives on a per capita basis give substantially more to secular, non-religious causes than do inactives.
Did you catch that? Christians give more even to secular causes than do non-Christians.
But, as a sign that even hallowed science can be biased, check out this quote at the end of the above mentioned study’s summary.
We must confess that our report has been so uniformly upbeat about the religiously active that we have grown uncomfortable. The key findings of our research are so consistent that they could not be ignored…
Then they went on to describe how even though way more Christians volunteer and give than non-believers… they’re just not doing enough.
Listen, the propaganda machine will continue to say that we’re unloving, I don’t expect that to change. But brothers and sisters, we in the church have got to stop perpetuating this myth!
How to Really Show Love
If you are a Bible believing follower of Jesus, you have been given the ministry of reconciliation (according to Paul in 2 Corinthians 5:18)
What in the world does that mean?
I like words. The word translated “reconcile” means “to decisively change; coming (changing) to the same position.”
If two parties are not in agreement, in order for them to be reconciled, something needs to change. One or both of the parties needs to move or change their position.
Can I tell you a secret about God? He hasn’t moved.
In the garden of Eden, it was mankind whose sin separated them from Him. We were separated from Him then, and it’s our sin that separates us from Him now.
Little words can be very important in imparting meaning. Here’s part of that verse in Corinthians, it says,
God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation…
That little word “to” carries so much meaning. God reconciled us TO Himself…He’s given us the ministry of reconciling the world TO Him.
That means telling people that they need to change their ways to line up with God’s. Because, remember: God has not moved.
But we don’t like being told that we’re wrong, that we have to change to be reconciled to God. And so, we create the judgement free church and keep doing what we want.
How the Church Has Failed
One of the biggest ways believers have failed is by doing everything we can to bend over backwards to make people like us. Besides looking desperate, we are in effect trying to reconcile God to people…His ways to ours. It’s backwards and it will not work.
I think an interesting study would be to look at the timeline of when churches began trying to suck up to non-believers (the whole “missional church/seeker friendly” movement) and see how much more loved people are feeling.
All of these groups that we supposedly hate, do they feel more loved (according to the media)? Have relations improved or gotten worse in the last few decades?
They’ve gotten worse because the only message out there seems to be that Christians hate them. And we Christians fall in step, pandering to avoid being labeled unloving.
Disagreeing is not hating.
Telling someone you believe they are wrong is not hating.
Calling out sin in order to reconcile a person to God is not hating.
On the other hand…do we do a pretty crappy job at times of actively showing each other what genuine love looks like?—Why yes, yes we do.
As we reconcile the world to our Great God, we do so with love and graciousness and kindness. That should be kind of a ‘duh’ thing to have to say, but it seems it’s not.
In other words, be nice!
Boldness doesn’t have to be rude. Daniel, who stood up to the king, was described as being full of “wisdom and tact”. Let’s shoot for that.
Click here to read more about how we can shine a light for one another with grace.
Reconciled To God
Our amazing Creator God has done everything to give us a way to be reconciled to Him. You’ve seen this painting by Michelangelo, right? It’s on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.
Look at Adam loafing there. He looks indifferent, doesn’t he? You can almost hear him sighing an apathetic sigh. And do I sense a little eye rolling going on?
See this close up of their hands:
All Adam has to do is lift his finger to touch the hand of God. Do you see that?! The Father is reaching…straining to meet him. And literally, all man has to do is barely lift a finger.
And that, my friends, is the ministry of reconciliation that we’ve been given. Reaching out to an indifferent world.
Unloving? Hardly.
Click here for lots more resources on growing faith, lessons from Scripture, and more!
Susan says
Well said! I feel like a lot of the “unloving Christians” stereotype comes from the media — or maybe from those of a liberal persuasion who don’t know many Christians in real life. It’s a reminder to me to be a good representative for Christ with my non-Christian friends —
Susan says
Thanks, Susan. I agree! Knowing that this false perception is out there makes me want to dig in to Scripture to see what our real task is and get to it!
julie says
It seems like hate is another word in our vocabulary that has been co-opted or should I say corrupted? Not only corrupted but seriously overused to the point that it’s in danger of losing its meaning. After all, if everything is hate then nothing is!
Remember when tolerance meant that you respected someone else’s differing opinions or convictions and agreed to disagree? Today tolerance has been corrupted to mean a huge smile, hearty approval and applause and anything less than that is intolerant.
Now it’s the word hate that is undergone a change. Now if you speak the truth about certain issues, you are considered hateful. Never mind that they are speaking against you, as well as calling you names. It all reminds me of Romans 1 and also 2 Timothy 3:1-5.
Susan says
Amen! You hit the nail on the head with the ‘re-defining’ of words these days. Spot on Scriptures, too. I’m reminded also of Isaiah 5:20, “Woe to those who call evil good and good evil..”
Jennifer DeFrates/Heaven Not Harvard says
Beautifully put! I love the insight into the painting! It really spoke to me! Pinning!
Susan says
I’m so pleased you were blessed by it! Glad you stopped by–
Gleniece Lytle says
This was a refreshing post, Susan. Thank you! We, as Christians, need to stand for Christ no matter how the world labels us.
Your insight into the Michelangelo was brilliant. I hadn’t seen it like that before, but it fits!
And Julie’s comment of changing word meanings over time was so true.
I’m glad I found you at #christianbloggercommunity.
Have a beautiful day. 🌸
Susan says
Thanks for stopping by, and for your encouraging words. I have to admit…our pastor shared the painting insight several years ago in a class and it always stuck with me. I’ve shared with him how I tell people about it all the time!
Ellen @Mommy Happiness says
It is frustrating that the media brainwashes so many!
It seems it is all the more reason to reach out and truly love….I think the world today thinks you have to agree in order to love, but I actually think love is standing up for the truth specially in hard times. I have a family situation right now that this is especially being tested…I know first hand the experience of not agreeing but choosing to love despite that…it can be tough but can be done!
Susan says
You are so right! Love tells the truth. I’m sorry that your family is being tested in this. May God give you wisdom and guidance to do what’s right in love. <3
Edith Ohaja says
Awesome! It takes courage to say something like this. In some fora, even among Christians, they would shout you down. We had blowups in one Christian group because those who said they believed in the Bible and have chosen to live by its standards were incessantly attacked by others to endorse deviant lifestyles, notably the LGBT thing. The chant was “unconditional love”, “no judgment”, while all the time the Bible-upholding folks weren’t the ones constantly bringing up these issues. Sadly, many quit the group as a result. It is a myth, you said, that Christians are largely unloving and I concur. God bless you for sharing.
Susan says
Edith, I’m so glad you stopped by. Thank you for your kind words. We’ve experienced similar things to what you described, and it’s so sad. I had a dear friend, and pastor’s wife, say to me recently, “If only people knew how many tears were shed over them, maybe they’d understand that they truly are loved.” My mantra as of late has been: Love tells the truth! Blessings to you–
Michele Morin says
Thanks, Susan, for this refreshing truth. I’m working very hard at my own tendency to be judgmental. Jesus gives us plenty of support with His own example and the Spirit of God indwelling our every day lives.
Jennette Ross says
I think your heart here is good. I recognize you’re wanting to encourage people to be real and honest. However, I don’t understand the need to dismiss Christians efforts to reach out in love to those not yet in relationship with God and label that as “doing everything to bend over backwards to make people like us” or “trying to reconcile God to people.”
Jesus always loved before He let people know what He thought of their actions. He wasn’t expecting people who did not have relationship with God to live holy. He understood none of us are holy, especially those who thought they were. He had to die to make us right with God again. Watch how Jesus deals with the woman at the well, Zacchaeus, and the woman caught in adultery verses the Pharisees. He always meets their felt needs first, then invites them into relationship before calling them up into more with God. The Pharisees, he cuts right into their pride and reveals their lack of real relationship with God because they didn’t really think they needed God. They thought their observance and upholding of the law was enough.
Why as Christians do we feel so obligated to let the world know what is sin? Why can’t we focus on loving people and let Holy Spirit convict people of what is sin in their lives? Can’t we as Christians know the Truth, yet love people in order to invite them into relationship and communion with God? Then from relationship, God will point out what needs to change. We may be a part of helping them see what the bible says, but it is still Holy Spirit who brings revelation. Again this most effectively happens out of relationship, not from us yelling form the roof tops what the bible says is sin.
It’s foolishness to expect people who have no relationship with God to even want to live as though they do. All promoting God’s laws and holy standards to people who are trapped in sin’d deception does is attempt to get them to clean up before they even met the One who cleanses all our sin. It’s futile and has driven many people away from God.
The bible tells us God’s kindness leads us to repentance, so maybe people would be more open to a relationship with Jesus if that is what we invited them to. Some how we think we can point out all the faults and sins of people who don’t have the conviction of God’s Spirit inside them and then think somehow they will want to change their ways before even having a conversation with God.
Perhaps if we showed them God’s love for them and His power to change realities of this earth to His realities in heaven, then they would want to know this loving, powerful God. Once they are in relationship with Him, His Spirit will convict them of sin and give them His power to break the cycle of sin in their lives.
But we the church are far too known by the world for our stance on sin than for delivering His power and love. We really do have it backwards. We must stop trying to be Holy Spirit for each other and for the world. There is one Holy Spirit and He is capable of dealing with people’s sin. We need to focus on loving people and inviting them into where they belong, with God, and to the realization that they are fully reconciled to God through Jesus. And just like Jesus, from relationship with these new family members, we can model how to follow Christ and encourage them to read the scriptures and develop their walk with God.
Susan says
Jennette,
I believe, also, that your heart and intentions are good and that you desire to show love. I think you may have misunderstood the intent of my piece. Let me be clear: I believe that Christians should be the most loving, kind, gracious people in the world. My point in writing this was to say that I think that we are. And it saddens me to see that not only does the world portray Christians as unloving, but many in the church declare that calling sin sin (within the church) “turns people away”.
I look at the passage you mentioned in which Jesus showed compassion and kindness to the woman caught in adultery. He told her to “go and sin no more”. I think that’s a perfect model for us. What concerns me is the trend in modern churches to simply follow the first part of the model and neglect the “go and sin no more” part. Likewise, you mentioned that God’s kindness leads us to repentance. Yes!! But in order to repent, people need to know what they need to repent of. That’s the part that I see many Christians and churches afraid of these days. And I think that’s a mistake. A well-intentioned mistake, but a mistake that is a detriment to the growth of God’s kingdom.
In answer to your question “Why as Christians do we feel so obligated to let the world know what is sin?”… I would respond with Paul’s words in Romans 10:14 “How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher?” A friend of mine who is a pastor’s wife told me just last week that they’ve had a new attender at their church. A man in his 60’s who approached her husband after church one Sunday to say that he knew that Christians were opposed to homosexuality, but until he heard it in the message that Sunday, he never knew that the Bible addressed the issue. You are spot on that it is the Holy Spirit that convicts one of sin. But that doesn’t preclude the Christian from teaching what Scripture says about issues in our world.
I would venture to say that we don’t disagree as much as you might think. I feel strongly that we show love to everyone (believers and not) as we minister to them, and I would imagine that you don’t disagree that churches must teach Scripture, including the parts that tell us we need to change in order to be reconciled to God.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts…I’m always game for a good discussion.
Jennette Ross says
I get your point that telling people the truth of God’s word is not unloving. You are right. I am simply trying to point out the reason people view it as unloving is because we have made the pursuit of sharing truth trump actually caring for the people who need to hear it. Jesus is the perfect model, but most Christians aren’t modeling their interactions with the world after Jesus’ example. He was known by the masses for healing the sick, casting out demons, raising the dead, and all the many miracles. People listened to Him because He took care of their needs. They were hungry, so He fed them. They were blind, He gave them sight, literally, not just figuratively.
When He talked to people about sin, it was out of established relationship. Jesus loved and cared for the women in adultery first. His aim was to restore her. He treated her with dignity. He could have easily used her as a poster child for how not to live, but He didn’t. After He protected her from eminent death, then He said go and sin no more. He never said anything about her sin until he took care of her first felt need, protection.
We have presented the world today with a gospel without power by not allowing God to meet peoples felt needs before telling them what the bible says about their sin. We isolate them and shame them first and then wonder why they don’t want to have anything to do with God. We may have favor with God, but our need to herald truth without acts of God’s love and power is causing us to lose favor with man. Jesus grew in both while He was on earth. So must we if we are going to impact this world with the goodness and mercy of God.
The world is crying out for heaven to come and show up. Will we be willing to get out of our pulpits and social media soapboxes and sit down in the dirt with people like Jesus did for that woman? Can we extend a hand to pick her up first before we stand with the pharisees ready to throw stones of judgment over her sin?
I love Romans, and chapter 10 is a beautiful encouragement to share the good news of Jesus. He didn’t come to condemn the world, but to save her. His announcement was the kingdom of God is at hand. Why is that message not known more? Why do people not in relationship with God know more that we believe sex before marriage is wrong, homosexuality is a sin, or our thoughts on what modesty really looks like more than that Jesus can heal them emotionally, physically, and spiritually?
The bible must be taught and scriptures unpacked, but the world isn’t listening to the sermons we preach on Sunday or write in our blogs more than they are watching our actions as we shop next to them at the grocery store or pump gas at the gas station. Or maybe its our inaction that speaks louder. The church needs taught, the world needs demonstrations more than words.
The homosexual caught up in the snare of that lifestyle probably won’t come across the christian podcast discussing all the scriptures that support why God didn’t design him to lay with a man. But he might just want to get to know the Jesus who healed his broken wrist when we prayed for him at Starbucks.
That is the picture of love Jesus paints in the bible…loving us even to the cross. He died and rose again to give us God’s Spirit to live inside of us. His Spirit brings revelation to His word. Without His Spirit, His words are foolishness to those perishing (1 Cor 1:18). How can they know the Spirit of God if we don’t “set forth His wonderful deeds and display the character and perfection of the One who called us out of darkness and into His marvelous light”? (1 Peter 2:9). We have this one life to present it to them through acts of God’s love and power. That’s what we are here for, more than yelling from the mountaintops that drunkenness is a sin and porn is wrong.
Once they receive the truth inside of them in relationship with the One who reconciled them, then they will understand the Scriptures. Until then the law is a letter that kills them, but the Spirit will bring them life. “He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant–not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life.” (2 Cor 3:6) If we are going to be known for something, may we first be known for being ambassadors of life.
Bottom line, we do agree on most things and both of us desire for people to know God. What we disagree on is that Christian’s are shying away from “teaching what Scripture says about issues in our world.” The believers views about what the bible says we should or shouldn’t do is talked about far too much in comparison to the amount of people who are actually living the Word. It’s easy to talk about “doing” and following God, but far more dangerous and yielding to actually “be” it.
My whole response is out of desiring to see people be perfect Love and Truth more than just talking about it. Our faith or what we say we believe is dead if we don’t live it. The world is waiting and frustrated with the lack of people actually living like Jesus. That is why they say we are unloving because they don’t experience love, they just hear us talk about how they will want to live once they know love. But we judge them now as though they should know what they actually don’t. It is unfair and unloving. We can’t tell them to live like they know they are loved when they don’t know.
That is the reason people sin, it’s because they lack real revelation of how much God actually loves them and how much He values them, saved or unsaved. If we give them the law to follow without first getting them into relationship with God, they will wind up prideful and arrogant for how well they follow the law, if they can show strong will power. If they don’t have self-discipline, then they will forever feel stuck in shame. I see both all through out the church and it’s sad. If the church is guilty of anything, its trying to clean up peoples behavior more than teaching them how to have a real relationship with God.
Thank you for taking time to hear me out. I really do want to see people live in the fullness of God’s glory, and for the Bride to be ready for Jesus to return, as do you and all the other people who commented in full support of this post. I don’t want to argue with any of you. Although it probably comes across that way.
I just wanted to bring my side to this issue from the perspective of someone who is going to witches, psychics, the marginalized, and the ones the church tends to shun to tell them and show them in real tangible ways that God loves them and wants relationship with them. Really I am going to anyone I meet as I am out and about to give them perspectives and snapshots of how God really sees them and how He values them. After they come to a relationship with God, I’ve seen Him sort out the truth as we discuss their life challenges.
But they might never have come to know Him if I hadn’t first been willing to “live on mission” with God. I don’t think that is sucking up as you put it. No, I don’t call them out in their sin, that never motivates anyone. But I do call them up into their true destiny with God. That is what Jesus did. That inspires people to live for Jesus. It’s what draws me into wanting to know Him more. His goodness is enough to melt even the hardest of hearts.
Regardless of our positions on this topic, my prayer is that all of us will take hold of the grace God gives us to allow everything we say and do keep the reality of His presence with us at the forefront of our minds and hearts, and for that reality to impact the people around us with true encounter with the living God. Be blessed.
Susan says
Jennette,
Human nature is such that we react according to our own experience. It seems that you and I have had different experiences. Two sides of the same coin, you might say. When I was studying to be a teacher, the push in reading education was away from phonics and towards sight words. This was in reaction to a heavy emphasis on phonics for years. What I learned, once I started teaching, was that both are essential parts to being a good reader. Every student responds to different methods.
Maybe what we need to really develop, as messengers of God’s kingdom, is in discerning what is most effective for the person we are ministering to?
I don’t disagree with your call to care for, love, and sit in the dirt with those who need Christ. Yes! I also agree with your statement that “We have presented the world today with a gospel without power…” Where we disagree is on why that is. It says that Jesus came preaching “grace and truth”, and I think we can agree that both are necessary, although it seems that we will continue to disagree on which is lacking in today’s church.
And I’m OK with disagreement. I thoroughly enjoy thoughtful discussion that prods me to think. Thanks again for stopping by–
Rebekah says
Wow! Such a good post! I loved reading the discussion in the comments as well. I love how you made me look deeper at the painting by of Adam and God, I’ve never really studied art, so when people point things out like this it gives me a whole new way to view things.
Rachelle Pierce says
I have lived in many communities as a naval spouse, and I can honestly say that no Christian I know would withhold love, respect, prayers or healing from someone because they don’t fit the mold. I think that might be an overexaggeration propagated by those who haven’t welcomed Jesus into their hearts. They are afraid of God because conviction of sin HURTS. They try to keep us at arm’s length because they may just fall for what we offer – a loving Father who disciplines His children, a savior who gives us peace and joy. I was once there 😉 I know.
Susan says
Amen! That has been my experience as well, Rachelle. Conviction of sin does hurt, and we’ll do just about anything to avoid pain, won’t we? Blessings to you–
Dan says
Speaking as an ex Christian, I can tell you that adults don’t need “a father who disciplines his children.” This type of evangelizing won’t work. Actually, probably nothing will for me, and I’m just posting this because it’s frustrating that there’s people in my life who I can’t tell this stuff to. They’re like you all, and they wouldn’t love the real me. It’s too bad, but just letting you know that there’s a LOT of us out there who are spiritual and have love to share, but simply don’t believe what evangelicals do. I know you think we’re going to hell. I’ve heard it all, and my search for truth has only brought me further away from your belief system. So, there’s a lot of us hiding in your families, friends, and even churches, who don’t want to face the wrath of the “on fire Christians,” so we don’t tell you what we really think, or how we really feel. Personally, how I feel is that I refuse to succumb to a god that would send ANYONE to a place such as the hell that’s preached in Christian churches. Sorry, I don’t believe in torture. If others want to, fine, but the problem arises when those who do feel obligated to recruit everyone else above all else. What this really does is keep you from being able to have actual empathy for anyone, really, and it keeps us from ever really being able to share our humanity with each other. It’s sad. Your religion keeps you from actually loving people, because you can’t love someone when you think they’re wicked and need to be fixed.
Susan says
Dan, I appreciate reading about your experience and, I have to say, I agree with a fair amount of your perspective. I don’t think anyone would come to Christ because they are seeking discipline, so that would clearly be a terrible way to evangelize. Balance is key in any message. Christ draws us to Himself through his intense love and kindness (and so that’s how His followers should evangelize too, in my opinion) and yet He calls us to be better, to live in a way that God has said He will bless. It’s not loving for churches to teach solely “we accept you as you are” for it leaves people unchanged in the light of God’s word. But if all we teach is, “you need to change”…well, who would respond to that? Love tells the truth, but it does so with a hug, not a stick. We are all wicked and need to be fixed. When I see that in myself, I’m able to love others more. Show grace more.
Dan says
Susan, I wondered if anyone would reply to my post, and I was pleasantly surprised that you did. FYI, I checked out the article you linked to in your comment, and I really liked the picture with the two kids and the quote about how you make others feel. I think that’s a big part of why I made my post or was on your page in the first place. It has been my experience that conservative evangelical Christians in our country have made me feel pretty awful. I’m talking about feeling marginalized, judged and hated. To give you some background information, I would consider myself to be a, gulp, secular liberal humanist. I don’t consider myself to be an extremist in any way, but I believe in individual liberty and the social good. I believe gay people should be allowed to marry. I believe marijuana should be legal. I believe sex education should be comprehensive, and not “abstinence only.” I think SOME socialism is a good thing when balanced with the right amount of capitalism. By that, I mean that I believe in public lands, transportation, education, postal services, and many other helpful public programs. I believe that socialized healthcare, at least for basic health needs, would be a better option for our country. I believe all of these things because I care about people, and want their lives to be better. I believe that because I’m an agnostic, and I don’t know if there’s anything else for us than this existence right here. So, why not be good to each other while we’re here? I’d love for there to be a loving force in the universe to care for us, but I also can’t reconcile that with the idea that humans somehow are born deserving hell. I know full well that we’re all flawed, myself included, but how can that justify an everlasting sentient torture as part of a creator’s plan? I’ve heard the argument that we’re nobody to be questioning that, but, frankly, I reject that notion.
Anyhow, my point in all of this is that there’s a tremendous amount of vitriol and hostility towards people like me from the Christian Right, and many times, it’s from people in my presence who don’t know they’re basically speaking ill of me. This is my experience, and I mean no disrespect. I’m just sharing my experiences.
Susan says
Dan,
We all have such different experiences, and view the world through that lens. If we could recognize that, I think we’d all get along a whole lot better. Although I disagree with you on just about every single thing you believe would make society a better place (lol), we are in 100% agreement that the beliefs we hold about those things are because we care about people and want their lives to be better. We just think different things will bring that about.
Regarding everlasting torture, I don’t see that Scripture teaches that. Satan will burn forever, but people who choose death over life, it seems, will be destroyed, not eternally tortured. (I know that’s a non-traditional view of ‘hell’, but in examining the language of the Bible, it seems more accurate).
I can understand your feeling, too, of people talking about something in your presence without knowing that they are talking about you. It’s hurtful. I once had someone describe something I’d done as “the worst thing a person can do”. What can you do but smile and nod and remind yourself that you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth and probably hurt people too?
Here’s to watching our words, giving people the benefit of the doubt, and getting along with people who think differently than we do. 🙂 Have a great day–
Yeah No says
Just because your feelings we’re hurt that doesn’t mean it isn’t true. While not all christians are unloving there are definitely ones out there like that. It wouldn’t even take long for you to see, just go to any social media or video sharing site you’ll see them condemning anyone from liberals to minorities to (gasp) the scary gayyyysssss. They basically condemn anyone who doesn’t agree with them. Even the number of gay teens who are being kicked out of their homes are on the rise by their supposedly “loving” Christian parents.
https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/the-forsaken-a-rising-number-of-homeless-gay-teens-are-being-cast-out-by-religious-families-46746/
The stereotype exists because there’s some truth to it.
Susan says
We agree on quite a lot, it seems. Feelings hurt doesn’t mean it’s not true–agree. Many stereotypes exist because there’s an element of truth in them–agree. And yes, there definitely are Christians that are unloving and rude and awful…I address that in the post. Christians need to do a better job of calling one another out when they are like that. Telling the truth without kindness is rude. But being kind without telling the truth is harmful as well.
https://thesparrowshome.com/grace-then-what/
God’s grace is so beautiful, but the fact is before grace can take effect, we have to acknowledge sin. And I’m afraid that’s where many get stuck.